Welcome once again and thank you for coming back!
The last entry in this series was published back in August. I've taken some time to reflect on the work done to this point, and to allow Spirit to continue Its work with me on my own spiritual recovery. I've experienced changes in my career path, in my spiritual work, and in my personal relationships with people I hadn't yet met and with people who I've known for many years. I've made some connections and reconnections, and I've done some serious thinking about my life and how I've lived it in the past and how I'm living it now. That's been something of an uncomfortably enlightening experience! But "it is what it is" and to quote Popeye the Sailor Man, "I am what I am!" As a result, I decided to make this entry a personal account of how each of the Nine Principles of Spiritual Recovery has worked in my life over the past ten years or so, even though I wasn't aware of it.
Some of you know that I work in the drug addiction counseling field and work with the process of “recovery” within that context in helping people manage their addiction conditions. The concept of “recovery” is widely used in the fields of mental health and substance abuse and addiction. In terms of health, “recovery” simply means a return to a state of normal being and function. In general terms, “recovery” is the process of getting something back that has been lost or taken away. I believe that “recovery” from addiction, or abuse, or trauma, or any major life challenge must begin with a true spiritual awakening – a spiritual recovery. As I've written before, “Spirit” Itself can never be broken, or lost, or taken from us, though we can be unaware of Its presence and workings – what we know as grace – in our lives. In that regard, “spiritual recovery” may sound a bit misleading – again, I believe that the Spirit within us can never be broken, taken away, or lost because It is the essence of Life – the only thing that is permanent, real, and eternal – but It can be trapped under layers of physical and mental-emotional health problems. To consciously “recover” our connection to that Spirit that gives us life and guides us to and through a healthy life experience, we sometimes have to treat those other problem conditions. The starting point for that healing is Spirit – and gaining an awareness of what Spirit is and means for us, and how It works with us, is essential to our healing ourselves.
Socrates said “The unexamined life is not worth living.” As I “examine” my life, I can see now that over the past ten years I have been “recovering” from several life challenges including long-term drug addiction, physical health problems, mental illness, divorce and related family problems, and loss of the life I had worked hard to build over the course of the previous 20 years. (Damn… guess it’s like the old Paul Simon song says, “everything looks worse in black and white”…) Anyway, these principles have been at work without my explicit awareness of that work, even though I’ve known something of a spiritual nature was at work within my life, helping me both with the processes of recovering from major challenges, and with making changes that have been slowly and steadily improving the quality of my life experience and helping me to be of some service to others. I know that “service to others” is my path toward living to my fullest potential as a spiritually-minded human being in this lifetime.
I will address these principles in the order in which they appear in the Nine Principles of Spiritual Recovery, even though my experience with them has not been a linear, discrete process. My experience has been that all the principles were at work all at the same time, with some taking precedence at particular times and others being more in effect at other times. During the first nine years of my own recovery I was not cognizant of these principles in the form I presently recognize, so I didn’t know to separate them, one from another. Maybe it was better that way, so that I wouldn’t try to make their application a linear “step” process, which they are not intended to be. However, for our purposes here, I will talk about each principle in the order in which the information was made known to me.
The first principle described in the Nine Principles of Spiritual Recovery is Reconnection. According to the 9Ps, Reconnection means to unite, join or bind together again; to rebuild relationships and is expressed through the statement: Despite my imperfections, I AM a spiritual person with real relationships and connections to all of Life. As part of my recovery, I have had to work to repair, as best I could, damaged relationships with my children, my family members, friends, Spirit (from my end), and even my former spouse, with whom I had completely severed all ties. This work included making connections with some of my ancestors who had passed to Spirit before my time here, and reconnecting (in a new and different way) with those who passed during my lifetime. Those have been amazing experiences and have brought me a great deal of peace of mind in terms of who I am and who I come from, and also about the “continuity of life” from one form of existence to another. I have also worked to establish relationships to everything in Creation, and now try to think well beyond myself and my own existence. Jesus taught the Great Lesson about the Fatherhood of God and the Brotherhood of Man – about love of God and love of neighbor, in addition to love of self. I’ve learned through Yogi philosophy that Everything is One, All is in Union and related, physically and spiritually, to every other thing, and that All is perfect in its spiritual essence – it can’t be otherwise.
The second principle described in the Nine Principles of Spiritual Recovery is Reformation. According to the 9Ps, Reformation means to improve or change to a better state and is expressed through the statement: The Spirit of Life within me is whole and unbreakable and has the power and intention to work with me to help me heal, change, and grow - physically, mentally, and emotionally. The work I’ve done over the past decade has led me, I think, to become a better person – more compassionate, more patient more of the time, more thoughtful about how my actions impact on others, and more conscious of how I am approaching living my life – my thoughts, feelings, attitude and intention – to produce the behaviors and outcomes I want. This extends to every aspect of my life experience and I think has made me a better parent, son, brother, friend, and human being. As Gandhi told us, we must “be the change (we) wish to see in the world.”
The third principle described in the Nine Principles of Spiritual Recovery is Reauthorization. According to the 9Ps, Reauthorization means to again be given the power over a situation (i.e., to be answerable and accountable for one’s words and deeds) and is expressed through the statement: I AM responsible and accountable for my feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and actions, and their effects on myself and others. In recovering my spirituality, I have had to come to the realization that I have had to reclaim the power over how my life unfolds, and how my choices impact on my own life and the lives of others. The Spirit within me is a small part of the Great One Spirit, and that “self” that is within me is answerable and accountable to the One – the All of Creation. I cannot ask the Great Spirit to relieve me of either my responsibility to make my own path and decisions, or to have to answer and account to myself, others, and Spirit for them. “Vicarious atonement” through the intervention of the Divine sounds attractive, but essentially, I am my own savior, and as Buddha counseled us, I have to “work out (my) own salvation with diligence.”
The fourth principle described in the Nine Principles of Spiritual Recovery is Resolution. According to the 9Ps, Resolution means to make a determination upon a course of action and is expressed through the statement: I AM responsible for living my life in a positive way to create and maintain good health and happiness. This principle is related to the idea of intention, or the thoughtful planning for the execution of a particular strategy to realize a particular desired outcome. Sometimes life seems to just “happen” to us – but if we look closely, we can usually see how our failure to thoughtfully plan the course of our lives has led us to a failure to realize our desired outcomes and to situations where “life happens.” This is natural law, namely, the Law of Cause and Effect, at work. Some philosophers refer to this as the Law of Karma. If we put out an energetically positive and thoughtful plan for living our lives, positive results will be realized – simply put, what we send out comes back to us in kind. As the Dalai Lama has said, “Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” In my recovery, I have done my best to put forward my overall intentions about the kind of life I want to live. I developed a “personal spiritual mission statement” that addressed issues related to healthy relationships, personal freedom and independence, and purposeful living through learning and teaching practical spirituality. I continue to see that “spiritual mission” unfold as my life moves on toward greater happiness and personal fulfillment.
The fifth principle described in the Nine Principles of Spiritual Recovery is Reconciliation. According to the 9Ps, Reconciliation means to bring into harmony or agreement again; to make compatible again and is expressed through the statement: I AM sorry for any pain and suffering I have brought to others, and I ask them for their forgiveness. Recovering one’s spirituality requires a person to accept responsibility for pain and suffering he or she has caused to others. This process can include apology, either direct or indirect, depending on the appropriateness of such an interaction. Some of the people we may have hurt in the past may not want to hear it from us, and that is their right to be left in peace. Mindfulness – or being present in the moment and being aware of the appropriate thinking and action related to a situation – and keeping in mind the intention not to hurt others, leads to ethical behaviors, and ethical behaviors do not generally require apologies. Jesus is said to have taught: "Forgive and you will be forgiven." That advice applies to us as well as to others. Through self-forgiveness we can bring our personality into harmony, integrity, and wholeness. When we have forgiven ourselves for our own transgressions, we are then in a better place to forgive others for theirs. As one part of my recovery, I worked to forgive myself for hurting my ex-wife, and though it took several years, I eventually apologized to her, in person, for the pain and suffering I had brought to her. She was visibly moved by my apology and accepted it as sincere. I believe my apology helped improve things between the two of us and that has been healing for my children as well.
The seventh principle described in the Nine Principles of Spiritual Recovery is Reciprocation. According to the 9Ps, Reciprocation means to give and receive in a mutually beneficial way and is expressed through the statement: My intention is to do for others as I want them to do for me and not to bring pain and suffering to anyone. Through this principle, which we find in every spiritual belief system, from the Golden Rule to Confucius’s “reciprocity,” to the Native American wisdom of “walk(ing) a mile in another man’s shoes” before judging him, I have made my intention to create and maintain healthy, mutually loving and supportive relationships with people who want to have them with me. My practice in this area has been a sometimes painful source of great learning. I think sometimes to know what we do want, we have to be shown what we don’t want by experiencing it firsthand. When things are good, I sometimes take them for granted and lose the opportunity to appreciate their value and be grateful. Like the child who is told not to touch something hot but does it anyway and learns the hard way, some of us, like me, seem to learn more effectively through discomfort. Occasionally, by experiencing pain and suffering myself, I can recognize it and how bad it feels to experience it, and, because I develop greater empathy, I may be less likely to bring unnecessary pain and suffering to others. Additionally, by treating myself well, through what I call “The Ruby Rule” (treat myself as I would have others treat me), I can model for others how I want to be treated – with respect, kindness, compassion, understanding, forgiveness, and patience…or more simply, with love. I also learn what I truly want – or need – from life and can then better set my intention to manifest it.
The eighth principle described in the Nine Principles of Spiritual Recovery is Rededication. According to the 9Ps, Rededication means to devote oneself again wholly and earnestly, as to some person or purpose and is expressed through the statement: Through service to the Spirit of Life, and all of Life, I will do my best to live to my fullest potential as a spiritual human being. Albert Einstein wrote: "Nothing truly valuable arises from ambition or from a mere sense of duty; it stems rather from love and devotion towards men and towards objective things." Part of my spiritual recovery process has been identifying just exactly what I believe my purpose in living to be. For many years, I was dedicated to being the best father I could be to my two daughters. I think I did a pretty good job as a father, though I know now that I could have done some things differently, and maybe been a more helpful guide to them. My daughters and I have close relationships based in unconditional love for each other so I guess we didn’t do too badly. Since my girls have grown into the incredibly competent young women they are, my focus has changed somewhat. My purpose from here on seems to be an ongoing rededication to helping my fellow humans in any way that I can that uses my particular knowledge, skills, and abilities to strengthen spiritual connections within and among people. In so doing, I again may develop “to my fullest potential as a spiritual human being.”
The ninth principle described in the Nine Principles of Spiritual Recovery is Restoration. According to the 9Ps, Restoration means to return something to a former, original, normal, or unimpaired condition and is expressed through the statement: I accept that I will make mistakes and that I will learn from them, and I will constantly work with the Spirit of Life to restore my good health and happiness. I used to live in an impaired state of mind much of the time. I wasn’t always clear-minded and I made errors in judgment. I still make errors in judgment but they are no longer due to any self-inflicted state of mental impairment. My “mistakes” have come in the form of words, actions, choices, decisions, thoughts, and beliefs. I’ve made some “mistakes” that have made me feel badly – guilty, regretful, and ashamed – because they have had an adverse impact on other people’s lives. Confucius is said to have advised us “Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.” As Master Confucius points out, when we feel shame for our mistakes, we “make them crimes” – we turn them into sins and we punish ourselves for them. My “spiritual recovery” is my own, and though I’ve made many perceived mistakes and errors, they have brought me here, now. When I’ve failed to look at my life and see my mistakes for what they are – opportunities to learn – I’ve limited myself and my ability to grow spiritually. I’ve brought needless fear into my life, become anxious and worried, avoided taking risks, missed opportunities, and hesitated to make choices and decisions, sometimes failing to live life to the fullest. When I choose to let Spirit’s Light shine on my life’s choices to help me understand what I’ve done and who I am because of it, I allow myself to grow spiritually, I get closer to reaching my full potential, and I tend to live a happier, healthier life. I return to that original – unimpaired – state in which I came into this world.
You may have noticed that I use the pronoun “I” a great deal in my “spiritual recovery” work. That is in keeping with the “personal responsibility” principle of my personal philosophy for living. I make my own choices and I am responsible for the outcomes related to them. I decide what course my life will take, and what situations I place myself. I determine the course of my life and the quality of that life. Spirit can guide me, but It cannot do for me without violating my Spirit-given “free will.” Even though I have people – and Spirit – both ahead of me and behind me, my path through life is only shoulder-width wide.
Until next time, may Spirit bless you with that which you most desire to manifest in your life!
K.C. Sanborn
